To the Woman Beside Me on the Train

Sitting next to a woman on a busy commuter train on Friday, this is the message I wanted to give her. Sadly, being English, I didn't like to make a scene, so I seethed in silence instead.

To the woman beside me on the train:
Yes, I know that this trip is an utter pain
That these seats are designed for a smallish sparrow
With the leg room short and the width so narrow
But you're wriggling and kicking as you twist about the place
Do you even know the meaning of the words "personal space"?
It's so crowded and noisy that like cattle we feel
And your actions make it worse, therefore I propose this deal:
If you 'accidentally' poke me with your elbow where I'm sitting
'Unwittingly' I'll jab you with the needle from my knitting.

Spleen vented. Thank you.