London Tube Strike

As each side the other condemns
We're tired of "it's not us it's them"s
To make London go
Let's lock up Bob Crow
And chuck Boris into the Thames

3WW: MTV Attire

When aiming to join pop’s elite
Avoid gowns demure and discrete
But rather offend
Those of volatile trend
By sporting a frock formed of meat

3WW:demure, offend, volatile

An Important Sunday

The streets are all empty of cars
The church pews today are deserted
The people are packed into bars
Emergency crews all alerted

What business can cause such a fuss?
What issue obsseses the nation?
The question on all lips is thus:
Can Palace avoid relegation?


Written this morning, before the match, but posted afterwards. A very exciting game ended in a 2-2 draw, which was all Crystal Palace needed to avoid relegation. Now all we need is a new owner...

On the Election

a.k.a. Temptation to hibernate til May

The identified date’s been corroborated
And the media’s utterly saturated
But from vague, trite debate
Will not one deviate
So apathy reigns unadulterated

3WW: deviate identify saturate

The ballad of ... dammit, please don't sue me

Now here’s a tale to make you sweat
Which as you sleep may nightmares bring
A drama you won’t soon forget
The trial of Dr Simon Singh

A man who stood his beliefs
Who for science and reason fought
And for those views he came to grief
At the mercy of the libel court

As he researched his latest work
On chiropractor’s health careers
He found diverse, unproven quirks
And some claimed quite bizarre ideas

(If your kids suffer chronic ills
Like earache or asthma attack
Forget those nasty drugs and pills
It’s helped by massaging their back?)

And so he wrote of what he found
In order to start free debate
Discussion based on data sound
To reason and deliberate

But when this reached the BCA
Instead of defending with grace
They found a way to make him pay
And hit him with a libel case

The High Court Judgment then decreed
His written statements were of fact
He would need firm proof to succeed
This ruling had a huge impact

A verdict that would stifle speech
Allowing quacks to ply their trade
It limits open debate’s reach
No chance to argue, weigh, persuade

And though that’s now been overturned
(A task which cost 200k)
The lessons have not yet been learned
The law on critics still can prey

If libel laws are still so strict
To stifle science in it’s tracks
And don’t allow reasoned conflict
Well, surely then, that law still lacks?

But while there are before the court
More cases lined up, in a string
This verdict gives them some support:
The victory of Simon Singh

One for the Palace fans

Now, Warnock’s composure’s not sunny
He thinks the ref’s lapses aren’t funny
But win, lose or draw
Who cares ‘bout the score,
As long as it brings in the money?

3WW: Trust Me

The 3WW words are righteous, salvage and lucid.
If anyone hasn't seen the original, it's here. And there's loads of spoofs here.

The woes of the Prius

When you’re driving the car that’s in front
Your brakes like to show off brave stunts
You're so hip and green
Like the stars of the screen
Who cares ‘bout the odd little shunt?

Dire news

The protest’s spreading far and wide
There’s workers marching in the street
The press inflame the angry tide
And twitterers in outrage tweet

What’s put the public in a spin?
What’s sent the politicians daft?
Is World War III soon to begin?
No, Cadbury’s been sold to Kraft

A Petrarchan sonnet on the British Airways strike

A strike! No festive spirit for this crew
Twelve days of Christmas walkouts we await
Just anguished travellers at each departure gate
Delays and cancellations all accrue
The war of words in press breaks out anew
The union and managers recriminate
While passengers are left to meet their fate
Now all of their vacation plans are screwed
And if both sides persist to bluff and fob
They’ll kill the goose that lays the golden egg
If BA can’t plug their financial hole
They’ll end up bust and all will lose their job
Thus both sides for a compromise should beg
For all are equal queuing for the dole