Ballad for a sleepy saturday

Part I: In which an unlikely superhero saves the day

One evening from dark Gotham City
A message was sent, short and tense
“The Joker’s returned." What a pity
And now let the mayhem commence

It was sent to the UN headquarters
Whose president, wise Ban Ki-Moon
Announced to the gathered reporters
He’d sort out this problem quite soon

“Now Batman’s got early retirement,
Does nothing but lie on a beach,
Who else is there meets our requirement
Of ridding the world of this leach?

Although we are quite apprehensive
Our ‘maniac’ budget’s been shred
Now Spiderman’s too damn expensive
We’ll send in Miss Marple instead”

They flew in the nosy old biddy
She interviewed Jokers old gang
Including the rap star P Diddy
Who once with the villain had sang

Her break came when Joker’s old crony
First mentioned his fondness for trout
“I knew that the fiend was a phony
His secret at last is found out

In a twist that’s not unmediocre
(I know this is quite a surprise)
The creature we know as ‘The Joker’
Is Blofeld’s white cat in disguise”

And with that fact, later or sooner
The criminal now could be found
They baited a trap with tinned tuna
And sent that cat back to the pound

Coming Soon~ Part II: In which the tabbies take their dreadful revenge