The Ballad of the Coventry Ring Road

Visiting relatives in Coventry this weekend. The city is home to what one survivor calls "the road equivalent of a fairground ride - frightening but an awful lot of fun"

One morning Lucifer awoke
To a new day in hell
"I had a dream last night," he spoke,
"An idea for a spell
It's time I had some depraved fun
For I'd become quite bored
This new plan's such a wicked one
It has to be explored."

On well-aged rage he based the brew
Then stirred in conc. despair
And extract of confusion, too
Was whisked in with a flair
Five metric tonnes of distilled stress
The potion mixed and flowed
The sum of all this fiendishness?
The Coventry Ring Road.

Now, some minds less innovative
May think this story junk.
The realists alternative:
The road planners were drunk.
Whichever way it came about,
I hope you will agree,
The ring road is, without a doubt,
A scary place to be.

You'd have to be gazelle-like deft
To stop at each red light
And when that sign back there said "left"
It really meant "turn right".
You think you're in the fastest lane
That much, at least, you know
But once you've turned the bend it's plain
You're really in the slow.

The roundabouts all intersect,
A dainty looping chain
You think you know what to expect
But then you're lost again.
This great ouroboros-like snake
Defies logic or plan,
You realise with a double take
You're back where you began.

The final word on this subject has to go to h2g2 "One of the features of the Coventry Ring Road that appeals to a great many people...is that it provides access to high speed roads that lead away from Coventry"